Emotional Herpes

Here’s a neat way to look at your past relationships!

Yes, even yours grandma!

You ever feel like you’re always dating the same douche  in a different body?

You ever find yourself  stuck on the proverbial one that got away, sure you’d missed out on the single opportunity for happiness life would ever offer you?!

Then you’ve got a raging case of emotional herpes! Valtrex won’t help this, you’re actually going to have to figure out your:

Father issues!

Mother issues! (biological or religious)

Your sex issues! (yep, go ahead and figure out who or what you want to be doing it to.)

while you’re at it you might as well delve into your internal issues about:

Your drug/alcohol problem.

The job you’ve been on for a decade that you despise.

That mole on the back of your left ear.

Your cellulite.

That weird uncle who always demanded you pull his finger.

The fact that you pulled it every time he asked.

Your unnatural attraction to your 2nd cousin.


You’ll probably still date that douche in a different body again. You know why? Because we’ve ALL got emotional herpes. It’s a world wide epidemic since … ummm … I dunno … THE DAWN OF TIME?! When whatever it is that you are supposed to learn kicks in, when enough truly becomes enough, something incredible happens; The universe slathers you with emotional herpes valtrex.  All the blisters and legions of the past heal, and you move on to your next “lesson”.  Least that’s what I’m hoping ;).


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