Once upon the time in the ghetto, there was a little girl whose mother had taken very ill in her lumbar spine. Her mother would be restricted to bed for at least a few weeks, this making for the most terrible of living conditions as there was, no interweb, no DVR, No TiVO … hell there was no cable in this particular ghetto (not until the mid-nineties anyway). The little girl was in a state of deep despair.
“How,” she pondered “will I save mother from a fate worse than death … BOREDOM!”
She wouldn’t ponder for long before an idea came to mind. After gathering bed sheets, shoes, kerchiefs and anything else she felt might be useful the girl mounted a one woman show: Gone with the Wind Redeaux! With pain staking attention to character movement, vocalization, and wardrobe she seamlessly became:
Scarlett O’Hara –
“Fiddle-De Dee … I will never go hungry again! Tara!”
“You ain’ spose tuh show yo bossom fo three’o clock Miss Scarlett, but go’on since you’s a hoe anyhow!”
“I would love you Scarlett darling, if I weren’t a homosexual married to my cousin, and if you were a man. A hot, hot man.”
“Oh Scarlett. Sweet Scarlett. I’m Ashley’s beard. Besides, only a woman can give you what really need. Ooo look there between my thighs, I think I’m having a baby.”
“You ought to be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how! And I don’t give a damn!”**which oddly explains why the little girl as an adult often fell in love with emotionally unavailable men who screwed like champions.
Guess what? The heroine of this trite and tale, is yours truly. I never conceived of my childhood shenanigans being anything more than me being silly to get people to laugh, and more important, like me. What I was being though, was an actor. In the last few years I have sheepishly studied the craft particularly enjoying dialect and character study.
Despite being officially learned, and pretty good at it by the assessment of others, I’m often too intimidated to put myself on stage. I have forced myself through here and there, but now I’ve committed to do the first honest to God play that I’ve done in years. There are multiple roles that will force me to flex every acting muscle I have, to utilize every drop of dialect training I got and …
I LOVE IT!!!!
I’d forgotten how much I love it. There is a reason why I choose to consider myself a “theatre artist”. It is because while writing is and always will be my first love, I want it all. I am theatrically poly amorous. My attention starved inner child – you know, the one that parodied one of the most racially inflammatory movies of our time for my bed ridden my mother – craves the adoration that only a live audience, captive or liberated, can provide.
I shall not deny myself that pleasure a moment longer. Why did I wait so long to embrace this side of myself?! No matter. It is here and now that I make my confession to the world: I. AM. A THESPIAN!