I’m still standing. It’s better some days than others. This past Friday it got pretty damn intense. See whenever Zion is away from home for a little more than 24 hours he some how forgets the rules and regulations of the house. He was gone for 48 hours over the holiday with my brother so I had my work cut out for me. He came in wanting to not do anything but laze around and allowed to do so until late afternoon. Then it was time to get to work.
Let me back track a little. I’d visited his school Tuesday (after some erroneous ass story about his Spanish teacher not allowing him to take an exam for Science…wah?). I was irate and ready to climb the walls. It’s been really difficult to strike a balance between worrying the hell out of his teachers giving and them enough space to do their job. It get’s even hairier when certain teachers won’t contact you when it is clear your child is failing their class (D or less in my home, I don’t know about these shady ass CMS standards). I even had a teacher claim she was about to go to administration on my son because of his excessive talking in her class. Really?! So we don’t even pass go? Don’t even collect $200? We definitely don’t talk to the child’s parent. We just go to administration. Nice. Did I mention said teacher responded to me via email with this sentence of sorts:
“Good afternoon Mrs. Rose, Zion grades are poorly because he didn’t bring his homework and he didn’t finish his classwork, he talk to much in class, he needs to use his time correctly in order to finish his work, already I need to move him to another desk.”
…and she’s teaching my child. *sigh*.
Well back to our story. By all accounts he needs to make some real changes in classroom behavior and organization. Things I already knew, but how do I make it happen?! I can barely get him to do homework (which apparently he’s only pretending to do.) It’s on him right? That’s what I’m supposed to be doing. How do I decide where I should intervene though. When do certain things become a parent’s duty? I have taken everything from him that bleeps or zings and he now has to “pay” to get them back and for basic things (i.e. watching television) with time spent working (school work, house work, etc.) Is this enough? Is it too much. *Sigh* Appointments with the educational team are made. I sigh. I cry. I dig in. Which brings us back to Friday.
My mom gave him the option of going with her to the store to pick up some energy and get him out of the post Turkey day slump, which I totally get, but he refuses to go. I’m laying down for work while all of this is going on so I arise from my mild coma. Then the stand off begins: (cue the theme from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly)
Me: Zion, you need to go ahead with your Grandmother.
Zion: I don’t wanna go!
Me: You’re going. You’re not gonna lay around in here all day.
Zion: I’m tired! I’ve been gone for two days…
Me: What?! You act like you’ve been to war or some shit! If you don’t get your shit on and get outta here…! (yes I cussed, I’m working on it. Call DSS if you need to.)
Zion grumbles into his room, puts on anything literally and slams himself next to his Grandmother and begins to mumble. This begins to irritate her and she reascends her original invitation. She doesn’t want him along aggravating the hell out of her, and I truly don’t blame her!
Me: Okay Zion, then you can go ahead and get your homework started.
Zion: I’m going with Gram!
Me: Oh no you’re not!
Zion: Yes, I am! I don’t wanna stay here!
Me: It’s fine, you’ll just do do your homework when you get back. Either way. You’re doing your homework.
My mother once again denies his company. He shoves himself against her and begins a round of hostile mumbling. I have exceeded the boiling point. I box his ears like he’s Oliver twist (again call DSS if you need to.) Stunned by the turn of events Zion goes into his Sophia routine: (cue the theme for The Color Purple.)
It took all this just to get him to get to his homework and stay focused. I don’t like having to be this parent. I don’t like that looking at him after all this his face read an intense hatred of me. I found myself growing this tiny fear in the pit of my stomach while getting ready for work. I’d been following the story of Michael Brea (the dude who sliced his mom to bits because she was full of demons). Mind you I don’t think Zion will rule me demonized and slice my head off in the next week or so (I’ve hidden all of our samurai swords just in case though), I just think that hostility toward parents now-a-days has manifested itself in slayings or other family tragedies. Maybe it’s an unfounded concern, but boy did he look consumed with the fires of hatred when I told him he needed to read two chapters instead of one due to the lag time over the holiday.
Where is the line between normal tween/teen aged moodiness, and “Is this lil negro plottin’ my murder?” *SIGH* I dunno. What I can do is try to control my anger a little more, and it has gotten lots better and pick my battles. I try not to be a complete tyrant, which is why I allowed him to leave the house for a few days. He needed it. I needed it. It’s Saturday. We’re back to the grid iron in a little over 24 hours.