When I gazed upon the recent cover of Time Magazine, my initial urge was to vomit. The churning of my guts was not however due to the overgrown child latched firmly to his mother’s teet. That was unsightly enough. No, my disgust was brought on by the title of the cover story “Are You Mom Enough?”
Hell, on most days I wonder I’m human being enough, now I have to worry about if I’m mom enough?! Geez! Okay Let’s see:
- I don’t cook for him nightly.
- I DO provide unhealthy fast food substitutes. (*wonder if I should just breast feed )
- I use foul language around him.
- BUT I use that language in complete sentences.
- I’m short tempered with him.
- That temper usually flares up when he’s not doing what he should in school.
- I’m ALWAYS busy.
- I’m ALWAYS willing to drop everything when he needs me.
Well mom judges, How am I looking? Did I mention I’m a single parent?! That’s gotta get me a bye!
Dammit! Motherhood has been turned into a high stakes game with no clear winner. Do I win if my kid goes to college? If he doesn’t go to jail? If he does both? If he goes to jail, but comes out and is a productive citizen there after? If he goes to college, but his entire life is meaningless? There are just too many damn variables. I love my son dearly, but I’m not sure if I’m cut out for this Motherhood Hunger Games shit.
So here’s what, I hereby advocate for self honest guilt free parenting (okay… maybe guilt lite). I don’t need detailed instructions from a some highfalutin MD either. I’m going to raise my son to the best of my abilities. I will make mistakes, but try my best to avoid the biggies (e.g. neglecting to feed, clothe, or nurture him). Even if I fall on my ass I will vow to get back up and continue giving him all the love and support that a selfish self centered letch like me can :).